The Balancing Act
by MadMoFunk
Summary: A series of stories revolving around NanakiRedXIII that take a closer look at the most differential member of the cast. FFVII cast inclusive.


Notes- This was originally created about a year and a half ago- it was just hanging out in a folder, so I dusted it off recently.

I re-played FFVII and watched AC (again), and I got thinking about Red's character. This is what came out! There's a lack of good Red centered work out there, so I wanted to remedy that. I tried to take a really good look at his character because while he's really wise for his age (a teen at 50) he's still got this naive quality about him. It's a curiosity I believe. Red likes questions with answers but the kind he asks never seem to have any. I was also interested in how he perceived people aside from his little niche of hero's and vice versa. While Red's incredibly intelligent, I tend to think that people sometimes forget that he's not just a dog-cat thing.

Squeenix: OWNZIT.

Lawsuit: DONOTWANT.

A Balancing Act

Even thought he had never cared much for children, he had always made an effort to remain unwaveringly passive towards them. It would have been simply too easy to let out a low growl accompanied by a glint of teeth, for people to get the general message.

His body was built to be a predator, and it took a fair amount of schooling his features to remove this natural disposition. Red wasn't known for being expressly emotive in any fashion, so using his natural appearance to frighten off curious children wasn't something he considered acceptable.

As irksome as it was when some whelp fondled his tail, or an adolescent girl scratched behind his ears whilst cooing at him, he kept his features as neutral as possible.

Because while some humans held extreme curiosity towards him, others held a marginal amount of fear. He wasn't comfortable being fondled like a common pet, but it was a far cry from the gasps and hurried glances he sometimes picked up/ received as he walked through the streets. He wasn't hurt by the fact that some people didn't except his presence; fear was simply a protective feeling, an instinct that humans had.

That much he understood quite well.

He didn't blame the mothers who pulled their children passed him at a hurried pace, or the men than watched him with calculating eyes and exuded feelings of unease. It was a matter a trust. Red trusted his friends and comrades, and the clientele at Seventh Heaven were decent enough, most of them being regular customers. He trusted these people. It was unknown to all but he himself of course, but Nanaki did not trust most humans. Nanaki knew humans had a justifiable reason to mistrust him.

Because while he was harmless when he felt like it, he was in essence, a predator.

His mind being of a sentient sort, that which was more so than a humans, gave him his humane qualities. His intellect, his sense of right from wrong, and his ability to be receptive to emotions, made him more human than many humans themselves. These things above all were what made him socially acceptable for people. They were what separated him from the beasts that Cloud and the others cleaved through during their journey.

Nanaki always reminded himself of this. To Nanaki it was an irony that constantly followed him where ever he went.

Always being a spectacle or the holder so many hostile gazes did get on his nerves from time to time. Normally he'd pay no heed to anyone aside from those he knew, or those who approached him. But his ears being as sensitive as they were, it was not any feat to overhear multiple conversations or hushed whispers as people twittered and prattled around him. While he was wise beyond his fifty years, and infinitely more patient than his human counterparts- figuratively- Nanaki was 'only human'. And therefore could only pretend to ignore so much before he got fed up.

During these times he would usually retire to the kitchen in Tifa's Seventh Heaven or if it was around the designated end of his visit, leave a few days early and return to Cosmo Canyon on foot. He did regret depriving Cid of the chance to indulge in the use of his new ship, the Sierra. But Nanaki absolutely despised being aboard the thing .

The time it took to traverse from Edge to the canyon was ample time for Cid to go over the latest mechanical additions or improved calibrations of the solar thrusters- three times over.

And Nanaki could only pretend he cared for so long.

The largest problem was not the fact that Cid was absolutely in love with his new toy. But rather the turbulence- the little there was, considering how smooth the new ship sailed. Metal and amalgam offered little in the area of traction for those without boots and feet to fill them. And while the ship was well equipped and suited to service humans, buckled seats and hand-rails did little for those without vertical spinal columns.

Or hands.

He would sometimes lament the fact that the world's dominant species were so unique in their design.

Opposable digits be damned.

It was regrettable that while ninety seven percent of all land mammals lived on four feet, the self proclaimed 'highest form of life' were in the three percentile that conducted their business on two. Air ships- or helicopters- submarines- really any vessel at all, were not made with Quadruped's in mind.

Nanaki would spend the flights aboard the Sierra on the flattest open surface he could find, usually the central control deck- with its vast floor inset from the glass that spanned across the crescent-like arc of the ships bow.

With the exception of Yuffie, all his companions kept mainly to this area of the ship. Possibly to keep the crew company whist entertaining Cid's praise for the ship, but Nanaki leaned more towards the likelihood that the view offered on the control deck was possibly spectacular.

But that was just his own speculation.

Regardless of the reasoning behind it, the group, minus one ninja, would frequent this area during flights. Red had no idea how the others did it. One would suppose that four feet would offer more balance than a mere two, but this was not the case.

Nanaki found the lower he centered his body weight over his legs, the more control he would have over the swaying and jumps the vessel made. Pride momentarily pushed aside, he would splay his legs as wide as he comfortably could and crouch low to the ships hull. He found this centered his weight enough that he was able to balance through the majority of the turbulence.

The odd time it did not... well, he would be lucky to have any pride remaining afterwards. This would usually involve some form of falling or sliding, and always seemed to occur when everyone was looking.

He was just lucky that way.

Unbidden, the most recent memory of such a misfortune came fresh to his mind. After the third time he'd nearly fallen over -Cait Sith having shakily made his way to the rear were he clutched onto Yuffie's boot- the suggestion had been made that perhaps Red would benefit from leaning on someone. Being under a marginal amount of stress, Red was obviously uncomfortable with the idea and just wished for the ship to land post haste. Fighting to keep upright after another jolt, his threadbare patience with the situation was at it's limit.

Gritting his jaws shut, he half attempted to stifle the rumble that started at once from somewhere deep in his chest. He half wanted everyone to know he wasn't at all pleased with his current situation, but the other half stubbornly refused to voice his little problem; the growl was his way of compromising. Suddenly caught off guard by a particularly strong jolt, he felt the floor disappear from beneath his paws, and for an instant he was weightless.

The moment passed rather instantly however, and he was tossed unceremoniously to the left, smacking hard into the floor. And while the wind was tremulous outside the Sierra, the silence was deafening on the inside. The collective hush that had fallen over everyone was shattered when, as Red stiffly picked himself up, he noted that the rest of his pride was strictly now the property of the floor.

Cid being 'el capitano' received expectant looks from others; it was after all, the captains duty to ensure the safety of his crew. Cid spotted a blond mop of hair -Cloud- who was effectively avoiding his pleading gaze until Tifa elbowed him in the side. Cloud glanced quickly at Red's hackles- which were raised- and sent the captain a pointed glare.

_Hells no._

Since the disgruntled feeling he harbored for his Good-For-Nothing-Friend after he foisted his Leader-ly jurisdiction upon him subsided, Cid cleared his throat. (While surreptitiously muffling a word that sounded suspiciously like '_asshole_'.)

"Uh, you alright down there, Cat?" he prodded in the silence.

A slightly ambivalent look from Vincent and a cut-throat motion from Barret stressed his poor choice of words.

"Umm..." Right. '_Down there_' probably wasn't the most eloquent way to phrase it.

Tifa's encouraging glare egged him on however.

"Red? Are ya'- "

"_Wonderful_."

Not one to lose his temper very often, Red did something extremely uncharacteristic upon uprighting himself. The growl was no longer behind closed lips, or closed teeth for that matter, and a snarl tore from his throat.

"I'm _wonderful_."

He had then angrily informed his silent audience that should they reach the canyon in one piece, he would be below deck. And with that he had skulked off to the bowls of the ship in an attempt to reclaim vestiges of his pride and possibly wedge himself firmly in the corner of a bunk.

By the time Tifa had found him he'd successfully shredded two pillows, gnawed through a metal chair leg, and ripped a sheet into fine blue ribbons.

Uncharacteristic indeed.

Simply remembering his behavior that day brought no small amount of embarrassment. But being on the Sierra on those windy days was simply asking for trouble.

It wasn't his fault he had four legs instead of two.

And it certainly wasn't through any choice of his own to travel by air ship. Between indulging the enamored pilot with his faulty interest -because he really didn't care to know about LCD's and GPS's, and Cid's new built-in MP3 player- and suffering through the balancing issue, travel aboard the Sierra was hell.

It was because of this that Red readily took the opportunity to travel home by his own means, when the chance arose. Journeying by foot was granted, much slower than by air, but he much preferred it to the often degrading fashion he was forced to travel aboard the new air ship.

It wasn't that often Red had the opportunity to enjoy the landscape and stretch his muscles. And he did enjoy a good run.

The times he'd traveled by himself the most of his time was spent waiting around Junon harbor. Ships docked and departed on a daily basis, but only once a week did Shin-Ra's former largest ocean liner sail for Costa de Sol. This of course was the only ship suitable enough for him to set foot on- the others were simply too small.

The rocking and swaying motion on these small ships was worse than that on the Sierra. And at times that was really saying something.

Stowing away wasn't a problem, seeing as how tourism was at an all time low, the only thing on the ship was cargo and a small crew. So Red would spend the two and a half days sleeping in the warmth of a cargo room, preferably by a furnace, and exit the ship upon docking. He never stayed any longer than necessary in Costa de Sol.

The climate was uncomfortably humid, and matted his fur. Remaining merely long enough to catch a meal, he was off southward through the mountains.

There was something to be said for independence as well.

Red thought his companions often forgot that he was sentient, and not merely domesticated. There was nothing domestic about him. He had been able to adapt so well to a humans lifestyle because he had never had one of his own. Cosmo Canyon was a far cry from industrialized, not like Edge, but he had lived with people for all his life.

His parents seemed like a far off memory.

He himself, sometimes felt like a memory. Just wisps of something left behind, with no past to learn from, and no foreseeable future. It was quite depressing at times.

It was a problem which he dealt with as best he could, considering he was significant in his existence. It was a constant shadow in the back of his mind: _To live along side humans and remember to not be one._

Because he wasn't human.

While he shared many a likeness it was important to him to keep those six degrees of separation at the forefront of his thoughts. He was constantly on the verge of being too comfortable with his place in the world. One would argue that that was a good thing but Red felt otherwise.

He was aware he could easily be comfortable with the ways things were now, and with his place. But he felt- or rather hoped, that it wasn't his true place. Where nothing was certain for him, set in stone, or preordained- everything he knew about himself and his kind- was from first hand experience.

Needless to say, he didn't know much.

It was for this reason he didn't want to become comfortable with his life. He felt it was settling for less. A cop-out if you will. Living a human life was for a human, and not for a... a Red. He did enjoy the company of Cloud and the others and he often would see himself being there throughout their lives. It was the future that got Red into trouble.

He often would think about things that weren't there. Or ones that possibly might be one day. Being curious in his nature, he hardly voiced his queries but rather sorted through them himself.

He could see himself around when Barret finally got the hang of his parenting skills, most likely before Marlene turned thirteen; he'd be there when Cloud and Tifa finally admitted that his ring was in fact on her finger, although everyone had already known this for a while, they simply kept it quiet; he doubted anyone would see the day Yuffie settled down but thought of it none the less; Cid it seemed was best at prioritizing and judging by the glow he'd last seen on Shera he'd done some serious re-evaluating. Red thought of a day where he'd converse more frequently with Reeve opposed to the Cait doll, which he _knew_ would be equipped with a new Mogg the next time he saw it, for it's own good of course; and he hoped there'd be a day in the not so distant future that he'd see his favorite conversationalist freely show a true and genuine smile.

And once his ideals played out as he'd hoped they would, _After_ happened.

After always ruined Now, and made him crave Before.

Red hated _After_ with a passion.

As much as he tried to stop his train of thought, his curiosity turned out to be traitorous in such moments.

What about After?

After what?

It was impossible to ignore the vacuous whole in his futuristic ideals. There was a loophole so large he fathomed how it never appeared clear to him at first; it made itself known after he'd created his carefully constructed future, making the reality of his thoughts that much more anguished.

He'd hoped to witness many things in his life; things and events that made those around him happy and therefore he himself. It was his reality to be there when and if these events took place.

It was also a reality, one which he did not like to think on, that eventually he would be there when his companions grew old.

Red, should he choose to stick around, would see them slow, weaken, and pass away. The thought of which disturbed him greatly.

Often before he could stop himself, he'd imagine a time, not much in the future but far enough, where he would be truly alone.

The longevity of humans was fractional compared to his own.

He aged at about a third of the rate most humans did. Most didn't include the last one he'd truly considered family, his grandfather Bugenhagen, who'd lived to the overly ripe age of one hundred and thirty. (The magic of humans 'science' still amazed him.)

He knew that humans rarely lived passed a hundred, most peaked in their eighties. And with this thought in mind, Red knew he'd barely be reaching maturity when his companions hit ninety.

If they reached it at all.

He had no idea how long he would live for but it became apparent to him that whatever the numbers chalked up to be, they were going to be long and lonely.

But for Now, he was here living beside those important people.

And that had to be worth something.

(O)-(O)

Hope you enjoyed, or hated it, or wished you hadn't read it because it was a tad angsty at the end.

As long as it made you think about it and feel something- my job here is done.

I dare you to leave me your thoughts. What's your take on Red's character? Love him/hate him/ never have him in your party?

I WANNA KNOW!


End file.
